Some absolute classics from the clueless outside masses – who probably have no reason to know better, to be fair – including someone not happy that a local remarked ‘you could fit a bus through there’
St Michael’s Mount, from Marazion beach
There’s nothing more irksome to us Cornish than when someone leaves a scathing review about what is clearly one of the most beautiful places ever.
And while sometimes we can laugh, say when people don’t understand our cuisine, or when they make complaints about how challenging it is to get to some of the most picturesque locations on offer, there’s one thing that will always be that little bit more annoying.
And that is how visitors to Cornwall sometimes pronounce our devilishly difficult place names.
Today we have looked at the two in harmony, checking out some of the more scathing reviews for the places that people just can’t seem to pronounce.
One of our personal favourite mispronunciations is over in Fowey.
You can often tell the difference between a resident and a visitor by the way they pronounce the name of the beautiful coastal town – Foy equals local, Foe-ey equals tourist.
Among scathing reviews of Fowey are comments from people calling the town Dawn French used to call home too hilly – and grotty.
The cheek.
One visitor said the long walk into town was equally as long as the walk back out of town. A genius observation, given that both walks would, in fact, be the same distance.
Fowey(Image: Wikimedia Commons)
The couple, in their 70s, criticised the steep footways and narrow roads, saying “we had to squeeze against the walls to keep out of the way of traffic negotiating the narrow streets.”
It continued: “Coupled with that, the quayside had an air of neglect, poor scruffy toilets and telephone boxes left to decay.”
They went onto compare the red telephone boxes with the ones in Bath.
The review ended off by saying: “As someone else pointed out, this town should be as popular as St Ives but not if the level of local interest allows it to exist as a grotty area rather than an appealing coastal town. Last visit 30 years ago and probably will not visit again.”
Another review said Fowey was “okay but nothing exciting”, adding they were “not sure what all the fuss is for about this place”.
Next we have Mousehole.
No, it’s not mouse hole but Mowzle said in your best Cornish fisherman’s accent.
One reviewer had the audacity to say the “pretty village” of Mousehole was “spoiled” by the locals.
“Locals have an attitude and I got the feeling they spat on the ground after you walked by,” they wrote.
It continued: ” I went into the general stores to enquire about the bus into town, the gentleman was rude, blunt, and didn’t even meet my eye. I decided to never shop there during my stay, so I didn’t.”
They added that dogs in the town are considered “public enemy number one” and that “outside of season [Mousehole] gets boring VERY quickly”.
Mousehole(Image: Tim Monaghan Photography)
Another reviewer called Mousehole “uninteresting” and a “let-down”. We’re pretty sure this one thinks it’s called mouse hole because they admitted taking a wrong turn to Newlyn on the way down. Awkward.
“Before we had even parked we were yelled at by a local,” she continued. “We kept to one side so she could pass and were treated to her shouting you could get a bus through there – so not to sure why she didn’t sail through instead of making an a*s of herself. We had a coffee and that was nice enough. “
Then we move onto Polzeath, or Pole-zeeth, as some would argue – and fail.
In scathing reviews of stunning Polzeath, the tiny village, once home to David Cameron, was called a “dog poo haven” as they remarked it was “absolutely full” of “spoiled brat” surfers.
“I am not usually critical of beaches but I couldn’t believe how much this place is ruined by visitors thinking they are surfers,” wrote one reviewer.
“When we arrived the beach was virtually empty but soon filled up with surf boards, wind breaks and spoilt brats. We gave up when we could no longer see the sea from where we had settled.”
Polzeath(Image: Susan Griffin)
In some hilarious commentary of Marazion – that’s Marra-zy-on by the way – people are leaving bad reviews about places they have never even been.
One woman left an awful review of St Michael’s Mount without ever having visited.
She wrote: “Never disappointed by the terrible customer service in Cornwall. I asked the lady about going across to the island and received the curt reply ‘not without castle tickets’.”
A very true – and very fair – statement from the lady in question.
Let us know in the comments the funniest pronunciation of a Cornish place name that you have ever heard.
Want the latest Cornwall breaking news and top stories first? Click here to join CornwallLive on WhatsApp and we’ll send breaking news and top stories directly to your phone. We also treat our community members to special offers, promotions, and adverts from us and our partners. If you don’t like our community, you can check out any time you like. If you’re curious, you can read our Privacy Notice